Beauty Doesnt Exist Perception Does

(Photo taken in California, Santa Cruz, Twin Lakes Beach, By Elisa B (Me)

I don't find myself attractive, at all.

Now, I will clarify here, this is not a self hating statement. Note my wording:  note how I never said I am not attractive. I just do not perceive myself that way.
The key term there is "perceive." Perception is a process unique to each and every person.

It is a combination of past experiences, preferences and ability to think fluidly. The past experiences may teach you that a certain thing is definably "ugly" or "beautiful." From there, preferences are formed, helping you determine which things attract and which repulse you. Fluidity is the ability to be open-minded and flexible in thinking, seeing beauty in new or different things.

If I were to see myself, in a third person setting, I would not find myself to be beautiful or attractive. I have my own perception of beauty, which leads to my own personal definition of it. This definition can not be verbalized or written, for it is simply ingrained in my subconscious. The same concept that I apply to others is applied to myself. 

I am not ugly. I just do not fit my own definition of beauty. Yet, there are certain less commonly appreciated things that I find attractive. My beauty definition includes: messy hair and sweat after a workout, collarbones, a cocky attitude, intelligence, written words and flaws. I am a perfectionist, but I love the flaws in others. Weird, but that is just how I perceive beauty.  

When others compliment me, I often find myself surprised. Annoying as it is to others, my favorite response is "really?" It is not that I am fishing for further assurance of my attractiveness, but that I am genuinely shocked that someone thinks I am beautiful. Though perhaps as humans we are merely more harsh on ourselves.

I suppose what I need to stress here is this:

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just because one person says you are unattractive does not mean that is true. There is no universal criteria for beauty, you cannot simply be beautiful or ugly. Those terms do not exist in a single definable way, what one person sees to be attractive is not going to be the same as someone else. I am sick of girls starving themselves just to be "beautiful" and guys bulking up just because they think that is how they should look. 

Wake up, beauty does not exist. Perception does. If you are unsure on perception, look it up. 

Do you find yourself attractive? Do you find certain things attractive that are not common "beauty" (physical or mental) standards?